Suadade

Woke up
Like it's a morning in Brazil
The monologue I always had
Now harder than ever
It doesn't stop
Cause you always pop
Like a traffic cop
Whenever I bump into my next mistake

My Summers are always sudden
And saddening
Like falling off a high horse
Or the blunt that gets you off
Off my pieces,you Pisces
Hope you break me into pieces
Sooner than I expect
Sooner than I will regret

I always wonder why
Catherine of Aragon
didn't fight that hard
Now I understand, that
Britain never saw
defence as bad as that
So now I stay with you
In Brazil......

Hoping this limerence
This emergent........
Wastes away faster than I dry my tears
Faster than I forget
I was once on a high horse
Faster than you get to see the frail I am

Keep hiding behind your Berlin wall
Tossing like that unlucky Chelsea ball
Annoying.... but I cum anyway
Come to reach your culmination
An enumeration of suadade
My Brazil nolstagia...

This kind of love

Utterly  happy today
Maybe it's the African sunrise
on my window
Or the music my pine tree ignites
as the tiny leaves clatter
Or the message the sky brings today

My heart is warmer today
Could it be the coffee and sandwich on my lampstand?
Or that  I was neatly  tucked in last night
Or the sound of 'love ' first in the morning

Why can't I find  bitter poetry today
Why can't I express my yearning
Is there no bar meal today?
Could it mean a day will pass without having to drag a knife over my skin?

Did my nothingness give in?
Is this how  the other lives turned out?

No

Today am utterly  happy
Its a dread head throwing  pebbles at my window
With a magical flute
Perhaps trynna kill my amnesia
Of what love is
With a smile straight outta heaven
Depicting how love should be

Warm;it says
Love should be warm
Like what  I gave you ;unconditional
Love is happy

I look back,I don't smile much
Love should be strong; I say
Like what I've  always been
Love is allegiance

I wake up to a vanishing  dream
Back to the cold loving  am used
I know it gets better with time
Unconditional;
For a different  condition this time
It doesn't get weary
Its allegiance,it's my kind of love

Please stay

I'll let you go,if you stay
Because am torn
between wanting you
And wanting the best for you
I mean how do you give up
On something you've spent
All your life thinking about
Something that gives birth
To pieces fit for an African sunset
If it takes forever to have your heart
Then I'll let you go,so you can stay

Lately;
Am becoming less and less poetic
Am giving it my all
My body,mind and thoughts
But I can see you hold none of those
You heightened my nothingness
And now am a poisoned Romeo
Deserving to be treated as one
So I will let you go,but please stay

Am I standing in a forged mirror?
Do I believe in something
So atrocious
So deluded....

Should I have wanted our cells
To braid together like living thread
Should I have wished for Romeo
To drink his poison over and over
Should I have been afraid to catch something that fell from heaven

I know;
that when you see this
You will know that it is for you
That if you said you saved me
From the eye of a hurricane
I will believe you
Because I could have sworn
We were infinite
But what could be closer to ecstasy  than pain
So I will let you go;
Please stay

Weight in whispers #1

There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired lonely place
Walls of insincerity,
Shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I'm pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey,
It was enchanting to meet you,
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you."
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name
Until I see you again
These are the words I held back
As I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

          Caviar©
         Dated 4years ago

Try oblivion

And you know I could never have my heart break for you
By I see the pieces
on the ground you step on

But i know my love for you
could never allow it

I could drown in a thousand bottles of whisky
I could choke from a dozen packets of cigarettes
I could go raving mad with paranoia after one too many lines of coke
Could I bleed to death, so not to feel it
But u.....
U can never break my heart

Your the nightmare to my dreams
Am very loyal
I drug myself to sleep
Get drunk on your sophistication
Because in my bewilderment
Only then will you heal my brokenness
After all,its the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume
So I drag a knife over my skin
I struggle with the absurdity
No....it's impossible
You could never break my heart

You know it,you've heard it
Am your Paris wife
Al torch down the balcony
If only not to let you entertain your psycho fans
I will count the hair on your head
To hold you down for just tonight
You love to get high?
Lemmi recap the burning bush for you
Going over and over about how i don't have your heart
So still....you won't break my heart

Life is too ironic for me
Am oblivious to public descency
But all that would change if I never knew you

See i dont believe in doctrines,morals and written laws
I believe in you
I can't remember a life not knowing you
Am used to you not loving me
I can't imagine a life where you did

So now you know...
You could never break my heart

Today I don't mean to be poetic
I thought I'd write you one of those broken letters
Maybe then if you will not reply to this one
Maybe you wouldn't try so hard to break my heart

Freestyle chronicles #2; The condition

Freedom,

we could do that more often
I could wipe your tears
cause you soften'
But I ain't your dear
so I won't premiere
In your search for Maria

You hear?

Your opposition
placed me in no first position
Am not wale,no you couldn't love my ambition
My diss lines
put you in that condition
Sorry,do I need a petition?
Hush baby its just perception

Free me

Don turn me into mini
Mi-ni mo' how many times
do you want me to go
For how long will you keep me low

You know

I feel like a runaway
Kelly Clarkson breakaway
Too bad am not afraid
to love you like a hurricane
I be part of your parade
Never a renegade

Even when you degrade

And I fall below your threshold
There's too much of my love
Even you cant hold
A tornado
Why are you so cold?

I follow

Your high dominance in derail
Run you like a treadmill
Sing you like meek mill
Baby your my bar meal
You hurt me when you don' mean

To

Be my baby blanket
Beads for my anklet
Chords for my cassette
Closet for a faggot
Now before I forget

Your name is my reflex

You put me in a hex
I'd be dumb to ever call you ex

Baby you my ecs...tasy
Make me run my lines like ecstatic
Two more pills and this will be tragic

Like bandits in traffic
Daam thats horrific
But that's what you made me
Made this piece feel
Terrific

Freestyle chronicles #1;obsession

Passion, obsession
Always in my conversation
Like my one time, all life possession
Unrequited cohesion
My minds fornication
One thing to live for
Die for
You be in my next incarnation

Why do i allow you to suffocate me
When I know you could never date me
Oh I know u don hate me
You just love it when you tame me
Give me bait   oh yes that's me

I have 8 photos of you
that drive me totally nuts
Coz you, have touched my heart
You give me better scars
Like safari network am on full bars
Obsession kept me asking
if she does
Or does not love me

But all that is way above me
If only you would abide in me
But you keep patronizing me
Coz I start sinking
when you stop nursing me

Am thinking,

Am thinking about
Baby why your always in doubt
Why you let this candle burn out
Why you say
you were born to stand out

Like...

I heard you were a red laced corset
Yea you have a voice like Morset
They said we used to force it
What do they know
Now we are more set

Baby am your puppet
Keep pulling them strings
'Dance dance
Do it  like lil simz'
Like the last season of fringe

I mean

Stick by me
Let's do this like a tsunami
See am stolid in my interior
Am nothing like Miami
Be always near me
Al wear you like a new Jersey
Climb 'pon you
Kama mti Wa nazi

Kazi