Your Second Violin

I could kill myself for you
No,
Not like take a gun and fry my brains
Not like overdose some sleeping pills
Or swallow some poison

I would die if you do
I would die if something ever happened to you
I will die if you cant love me back
I would die everyday
Over and over......till its all over

The thought of not seeing your poison smile
Distracting voice
Hazel eyes
Already takes a second from my lifeline

Every time you tell me your in trouble which you always are,
I feel an ulcer creep back in
Every time I cant reach you
My heart,, no
My mind physically hurts

And your unrequited soul
Shoves me to nicotine
And I can accurately feel my lungs burn
All the undelivered letters drive me crazy
drive me to the bar, and i keep writing
A bottle per every sentence meant for you

I could watch you all night and its  not insomnia
Just to see you close your eyes
Just to see the 18 gauge canulla needle dig into your septum
Just to hear you breathe the frequency to my name
Just to see you wake up in time for our eyes to lock once more

If you ever end up in Alcatraz like Alex
I will torch down the times tower just to end up in death row with you
If you gave me a promise ring
It would take for my finger to be extracted cell by cell for it to ever come out

I know you know this too,
That you can say my name
in a way i would want to be deaf that I would forever have you voice embedded in my auricle
That you can look into my eyes
And i would be blind enough
just to keep the image of you
That you can touch me in a way
I would wanna reap off my skin
With my nails that not another soul would ever touch it

Yes, i would kill myself for you
This is how I would die for you
This is how much I drain myself for you
I find this sad
I think am mad
I think I've let down my guard
And for every word I've written
Wish I wrote it in blood -ink
And the worst part is
Am still your second violin